Extractive introjection

Generative mutuality in human relations depends, amongst other things, on an assumption that the elements of psychic life and their different functions are held in common. If A talks to B about his grief over the loss of a parent, then he should be able to assume that B knows what grief is and will ‘share’ A’s problem with him. If A confides in B about her sexual frustration with her husband who is no longer interested in her, then A should assume that B knows about the need for sexual gratification and can understand what frustration would be like. In an ordinary life, if it is possible to speak of such, couples and families share the elements of psychic life and their functions through a division of labour. In a marriage, a wife may tend to process the element of comforting physical care in relation to her children, while the husband may process the element of ‘management’ of the outside world. In contemporary life, partners pass the functions of these elements back and forth between themselves. The healthy wife and husband value and understand the elements being processed by the Other