The State of Affairs

There is one simple act of transgression that can rob a couple of their relationship,
their happiness, their very identity: an affair. Yet this extremely common act is poorly
understood.
I have been probing the intricacies of love and desire in modern couples for almost
three decades as a therapist, writer, trainer, and lecturer. My first book, Mating in
Captivity, explored the nature of erotic desire in long-term relationships and included a
single chapter on infidelity. To my surprise, every time I gave a talk or an interview
about my book, no matter where in the world, the topic of infidelity took precedence
over all others. It would come to consume my waking hours. Whereas Mating in
Captivity probed the dilemmas of desire within committed relationships, The State of
Affairs tracks the trajectory of desire when it goes looking elsewhere.